One Sentence Movie Reviews – Nov 14, 2014

Yeah I know, I’ve been missing again. I apologize, more big developments in the land of the Maestro, like a new job and new projects to work on! Anyway, let’s get this month of reviews on to a late start:

INTERSTELLAR (2014): Christopher Nolan sheds almost every current blockbuster safe-zone with this heavily-layered, and incredibly smart & moving film. A+

FURY (2014): Much more accurate and entertaining that I thought it would be, this end-of-World War II-flick delivers for veterans and millennials alike. B+

THE EQUALIZER (2014): While the script handles the very-real-world problem of escalation like a kid that’s found his dad’s gun, the end result is a slick and stylish actioner that I can get behind on a rainy day. B-

ST. VINCENT (2014): Fans of uproarious Melissa McCarthy comedy should expect something very different but infinitely-more rewarding with this touching little dram-edy, powered by the endless genius of Bill Murray. B+

X2: X-MEN UNITED (2003): A big step up for the X-Men franchise early in every technical and storytelling category…except for poor Cyclops. B+

That’s all for now folks! As always, check out the archives for more, and support your local movie theater!

One Sentence Movie Reviews – Oct 31, 2014

It’s Halloween, boys and girls! Time to dress up like creatures of the night, load up on candy, and crank back the armchair to watch some scary movies! Which is what I’ve been doing, of course! What do I have to recommend on this All Hallow’s Eve? Read on to find out:

FRANKENSTEIN UNBOUND (1990): It’s a shame Raul Julia was asleep at the wheel for his role of Dr. Frankenstein, as the rest of the film’s time-travel premise was a real treat, especially the portrayal of the monster. B-

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981): Still the final word in quirky horror-comedy combos, and in werewolves: my end-all-be-all werewolf is still this film’s demon-dog from Hell. A-

NOSFERATU: A SYMPHONY OF HORROR (1922): The original vampire film still has the luster of a masterpiece, even when not counting its influence on countless future films. A+

SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE (2000): John Malkovich channels his inner director-demon as the famous F.W. Murnau, but it’s Willem Dafoe who steals the show as the real vampire behind Nosferatu. B+

THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974): One of the scariest (and unintentionally, the funniest) horror films ever made; just ask the stars who lived it. A+

NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE (1979): Werner Herzog’s remake is stunning to the eyes and ears, although its twist-ending robs some of the luster it could have had. A-

BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA (1992): Francis Ford Coppola reclaims his earlier skill with the sensuous version of Dracula, complete with in-camera visual effects, but incomplete without a better Jonathan Harker (terrible show, Keanu.) A-

DRACULA (1973): It’s a typical TV movie, but the luscious production values and Jack Palance’s excellent portrayal of the Count give it a sense of eeriness. C+

HALLOWEEN (1978): Although the hammy teenagers date the film, it still remains a horror classic due to the chilling portrayal of the inhuman Michael Myers and his nemesis, Dr. Sam Loomis. A-

That’s all I have for you kiddos, as always, check out the archives for more, and support your local movie theater! Happy Halloween!

One Sentence Movie Reviews – Oct 19, 2014

Hey hey hey, welcome back! (if you’ve been gone). My game of Intense-Catch-Up-On-The-Movies continues, so bear with me as my reviews finally approach what is currently being released this week! And I have some horror film reviews for you! Let’s get into this:

GONE GIRL (2014): Come for the tense missing-wife mystery, stay for the absolute devastation David Fincher and Gillian Flynn wage against the institution of marriage. A+

DRACULA UNTOLD (2014): Dracula’s most definitely previously-told origin (see: Bram Stoker’s Dracula, 1992) is ok popcorn entertainment and nothing more. C

THE JUDGE (2014): The two Roberts (Duvall and Downey Jr.) tear through a melodramatic script to give viewers an intensely cathartic night at the movies. B+

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978): Philip Kaufman’s paranoia-fueled remake is pure 70’s cinema: fast, shadowy, and full of laughable hair. A-

FROM BEYOND (1986): One of the better Lovecraft adaptations out there, with special makeup effects that rival The Thing. B+

THE THING (1982): John Carpenter’s magnum opus is paranoia and nihilism-incarnate, with the most amazing special makeup effects ever seen, then AND now. A+

That’s all for now folks! As always, check out the archives for more, and support your local movie theater!

New Ultimate Casting Calls: Flash Gordon

Hey there, cinephiles! I promised and promised, and now, finally, is a new Ultimate Casting Calls! From out of the depths of space comes the war machines of Planet Mongo, led by Ming the Merciless! Who will save every one of us? All-American hero Flash Gordon, that’s who! He’s inspired everything from Star Wars to his own feature film, but poor Flash hasn’t had a good outing on screens since 1980. Want my two-cents on who should be a part of his cinematic revival? Check it out!


Fellow Blogster Ashley Brown’s Horror Show

Hey cinephiles! With October here and feelings of dread Halloween here, I thought I’d share with you a fellow critic’s new page! Ashley Brown is her name, and this month, horror movies are her game! As a personal friend and fellow critic, I’ve already enjoyed her work on Big Shock Media’s ongoing ‘True Dat’ blog, and now here’s a chance for all of you to do the same, as well as her new entry, containing horror film reviews with a snarky-mom twist and even pizza suggestions! YYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out Ashley Brown’s Horror Show, playing all October! Doors open at midnight kiddies!